The end of Valentine's Day as we know it..

According to several studies, chocolate (well, the cocoa we use to make chocolate), is verging on the edge of impossible to get. Or, at least, out of the financial reach of most of those with only average incomes.

Did your heart just stop?

Cocoa crops are disappearing, partially due to the droughts in Western Africa, and partially due to the unfair trade practices and civil unrest in the Ivory Coast. Did you know that most West African farmers spend three years tending a single cocoa plant before it's ready to harvest, and earn about $1 a day for their trouble?They simply can't afford to grow anymore, so they're abandoning their farms and trying to find other means of existence.

The price of wholesale chocolate is about to reach a 30 year high, and according to experts, chocolate will soon be about as expensive as caviar. The price has already jumped up $500-$600 per metric ton.

Have you run to the corner store to stock up on your Hershey's yet?

No more Cafe Mochas, no more chocolate birthday cake, no more Death By Chocolate ice cream. Giving a box of chocolate on Valentine's Day will suddenly have an all new meaning of love. (Keep the chocolate, please, just give me something sparkly, k?) Hershey Kisses will suddenly mean as much, if not more, than the real thing.

(Wouldn't it be ironic if chocolate turns out to be the commodity that finally makes Britain and America care about Africa's politics and trade - their Middle East Oil, so to speak? It happened with diamonds...which are another Valentine's Day gift. Hey, wait a minute, did I just stumble on something important?)

Friday Frolicking!

How I like to imagine the Princesses on their day off.

Well, hot damn, it's Friday! And, miracle of miracles, somehow I wound up with a three day weekend. (Thanks, Schedulers!) Plans for this weekend include a meeting with my dad and the bank to figure out funding for school (he's been running around all week finding me information on loans and grants that I can qualify for), and some cooking!

I found an awesome cookbook that I love, but it's one of those that generally throws in at least one obscure and hard to find ingredient. For last night's vegetable fondue, the random ingredient was white miso paste. Okay, okay, I know what miso is; a deliciously fabulous soy soup served at most Japanese restaurants or sushi houses. But...paste? I spent 30 minutes in the store, trying to find this mysterious ingredient.

First stop, the asian food section. Hey, it's Japanese, right? Maybe I'll get lucky. Scanned every label on the shelf, having no clue what the heck I was looking for. Does it come in a tube or in a jar? Hmph. No luck. Okay, next stop, the soup section. I mean, it's SORT of a soup ingredient, right? Maybe it's stashed with the powdered soup mixes and bouillons? I walk to the next aisle, narrowly missing getting hit by crazy-woman-with-overly-full-shopping-cart-and-no-sense-of-other-people-trying-to-shop-here (oh? She shops at your store, too?), and read every label on the shelf. Closest I got was an actual miso soup. For a moment, I contemplate whether or not the seasoning packed from a to-go soup would be an acceptable substitutes, then decide against it.

Well, good lord! Where the hell is this thing? It's about this time that I start wondering if I should just scrap the whole thing, since I have no clue how it's going to work without this ingredient. One last ditch effort, the nutrition section. Why didn't I go there to start with, you ask? Well, I've actually become more than familiar with everything over there, and not once do I remember seeing any kind of miso paste. But, hey, maybe I missed something, right? So I go through the entire section. Nothing. Nada. But! I did find a vegan alfredo sauce that's new to the department! Woo hoo! If nothing else, I can make some creamy noodles. I add the alfredo to my basket and heave a great big sigh of defeat. I'll probably have to go to the asian market to get this thing, we're probably to mainstream to have it in our local grocer. Bummer, and I was really looking forward to dipping all those veggies in a fake cheesy goodness!

On the way to the front, I remembered that I was almost out of vegan cream cheese, so I turned back to the refrigerated section. And froze. There, pinned in between the vegan sour cream and the vegan cream cheese was...

 

 Okay, okay, it's not white. It's red. But...still...it counts, right? And...and how bad can it be?  Holy crap...my eyes widened at the price. $6.99? For THIS? It's...it's tiny! I bite my lip, debating. On one hand, I just want to say screw it and go home to have happy alfredo. But on the other, I just spent half an hour searching for this thing, (or it's distant cousin), to find it now and walk away just feels, well...degrading. 

Fine. Into the basket. I'll suck it up. I'm sure I can find a good recipe for the rest of it, considering I only need a couple teaspoons. Besides, by now I'm starving, and on the verge of some very dangerous hunger-shopping. 

Home I go, where I set about making vegetable fondue...and boy am I glad that I did! The dish was worth every minute I spent searching for this mysterious miso paste! The "cheese" is comprised of light coconut milk and cauliflower, so it's pretty guilt free, as it is. The magic of the flavoring comes from all of the seasonings that are added in, including this deliciously wonderful miraculous miso. Yes, that is it's new official name. Because I said so, that's why. 

Happy Friday, y'all! 

My vegetable fondue with bread and veggies to dip.

Reinvention

Yesterday's Teatime Topic was: How late is too late to start your life over? How old is too old to change career paths and start again?Is there a point where you simply accept the choices you've made? Have you ever hit the reset button on your own life? Have you ever been tempted to and chose not to? Why?




When you're a kid, there was a fabulous cultural remedy to situations we'd gotten ourselves into, and suddenly needed to get out of. It was called the Do-Over. Remember that? How wonderful was that? Roll a bad roll at Monopoly? Do-Over. Throw the ball shorter than home plate? Do-Over!  Botch your spelling test and need a second chance? Do-Over! (or, retake, depending on your teacher, but really, why argue semantics when I'm trying to make a point?)

Somewhere along the way to middle school, the phrase drops out of our language. Legally, though, the government gives you a Do-Over, a chance to start your life fresh, until your 18th birthday. After that, you're on your own, kid. You make your choices, you live with them.

But at what point do we pull back and admit that things aren't going the way we'd planned? At some point, is it still okay to shout Do-Over, reset, and set off on a new path, trying to readjust? Or, should we keep plugging away at the choices we've made, hoping that the outcome changes?

I've been wrestling with these questions for about 2 years now. It was about that time that I realized that certain business changes within my company left me with...shall we say...exceedingly limited upward mobility. There seems to be a growing trend of hiring outside the company, instead of promoting from within. Those who do get promoted from within are hand picked for their positions, instead of the application process being an even playing field. The last three job postings that came out, I knew on sight who was going to be hired into that position, and I was right. Those of us on the bottom tiers are having a harder time than ever climbing the ranks.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. The company I work for does take good care of their employees, and frankly, our benefits can't be beat. It's steady work, and the pay isn't great, but I can live on it. I've been here for 5 years, trying to make it through the ranks, and honestly? I'm at the same place I am when I started.

This all sort of came to a head when I was informed that the job that I've held temporarily, that I've been hoping would convert to a permanent position is being eliminated. According to the rumours, it's going to be outsourced to another company. The news felt like a kick in my stomach. I've been working so hard for this, and now it's just...disappearing? The verbiage they used in telling me was, 'this position will be going to professionals.'

Um...what the hell am I?

Apparently, not a professional, and not qualified for a position that I've been in for several years. Funny how, even though I'm not qualified, I've held the position and done a damn good job at it. But, that doesn't matter. I'm just a worker bee for a much larger hive, and it's becoming more and more apparent that this is a job, not a career.

So what do I do? Do I keep working in the same job, knowing that I will probably be doing exactly the same thing, for about the same pay in five years? Can I be happy with myself?

I was awake an entire night wrestling with this. In the morning, I got out of bed, and waited until the clock got late enough that I could call my dad and not have him panic. We've had our problems, yes, but this is a big issue, and I knew I needed to hear what he had to say. He completely surprised me, reminding me that my mom had gone to college to get her RN at 35, and she wasn't the oldest person in her class. He said that it's not too late to change directions, I just needed to decide what I wanted to do. And, most importantly, he said that I had his support if I wanted to make some changes.

I actually had to pull the phone away from my ear and check to make sure I'd dialed the right number...really? This was my dad? ...wow....

I instantly felt worlds better.

So, I'm actually looking at going back to school. I know, I know, right? College, round 2? I already have my B.A, though, so getting a second degree is actually not going to be a big trick. I've actually been talking to several schools that have nursing programs in the area, and found out that in about 2 years of full time school, I could be a licensed RN. 2 years! That's...that's like...nothing at all.

AND, I've been put in touch with several programs that will PAY for me to go to school, as long as I agree to work for them when I'm done. Um...wait...so, you're going to give me a job, no, scratch that, a CAREER and you're going to pay for my schooling to get there?...

Maybe sometimes it's okay to take a pause and say, you know, I'm not happy. This isn't where I wanted to be.

I need a Do-Over. And I'm taking it.

Tuesday Teatime

Teatime in my kitchen

I've always said that I've had a hard time with blog themes. Every time I try to put together a decent Music Monday or Wordless Wednesday, it's as if I've given my muses license to laugh and mock me at will. When I have to write something, I have a hard time doing it, especially when it comes to blogs. Call it my natural aversion to the rules. However... 

I've decided to have a once-a-week theme on my blog: Teatime Tuesday. If you've spent any time around me, you know that I am a tea fanatic. I adore tea. I especially adore exotic blends of hard-to-find loose leaf teas. There's a local tea shop which has huge silver canisters of amazing leaves from all around the world. You buy them in ounces (just like a drug), and they have procured more of my paycheck then I would like to admit. 

On Teatime Tuesday, I'll be sharing the tea-of-the-day, and sharing a tea photo of my teatime for that day. (See the above photo? With my pretty new blue amazing teapot with a built in infuser?) I'll also be throwing out a topic question for readers to chime in on and spark some discussion. Then, on Wednesday, I'll follow up with my own thoughts on the Teatime Topic. 

Granted, today's almost to the end of Tuesday, I know, I'm getting a late jump on it. Sorry about that. But I'm in before midnight, therefore, it's still Teatime Tuesday!

Tea of the Day: Bourbon Street - A rooibus blend with sweet caramel and vanilla undertones.

Teatime Topic: How late is too late to start your life over? How old is too old to change career paths and start again?Is there a point where you simply accept the choices you've made? Have you ever hit the reset button on your own life? Have you ever been tempted to and chose not to? Why?

100th Post!

 

Well, hey, would you look at that? I've reached 100 posts! ::blows a fanfare and tosses a handful of confetti in the air:: Thanks for being coming along for the ride with me! 

In honor of this momentous occasion, I've decided to post 100 random tidbits about me. I made a list like this about 2 years ago for a different project, and it was great fun. It's time to dust off the list and create a new one, and maybe some of my friends will be inspired to do one as well?

100 Things About Me

(You probably didn't want to know, but I'm going to tell you anyway)

1. My name is Scarlett.

2. No, that’s not my real-life name, it’s my internet name.  

3. I like to keep the two worlds separate.

4. I have yet to meet someone who can pronounce my real name correctly the first time.

5. I decided when I was 6 years old that I would have to marry a man with a pronounceable last name, too.

6. I was almost named Jennifer, but my dad said that “Jenny” is what they call a female donkey, so he wouldn’t have it.

7. The second choice for my name was Crystal, but I was told once that it was too new-    agey for my family.

8. My parents couldn’t agree on a name for me. My Godmother named me as a last option.

9. The inability to agree on a child’s name is a good indicator of my parent’s relationship.

10. I adore the names Julianna, Isabel, Alexander  and Ethan for my future children.

11. When I was little, I wanted to be a marine biologist.

12. When I got older, I wanted to be an actress.

13. I started acting when I was 13.

14. I was in a movie, “Ten Things I Hate About You.”

15. No, I will not tell you which scene, or what I’m wearing.

16. Heath Ledger was really cute in person. And smoked like a chimney between takes.

17. Julia Stiles is insanely intelligent and very friendly.

18. I used to be a competition synchronized swimmer when I was in elementary and middle school.

19. My swim coach said I was too fat to compete in my category (10 years old)  so I lost weight.

20. You can see the spaces between my wrist and arm bones in pictures after that.

21. I can’t remember why I quit swimming.

22. One of the girls I swam with went on to compete in the Olympics.

23. My first pets were two goldfish named Ralph and Susie.

24. I was 4. They were the best names I could come up with.

25. I now have a dogs, Vegas, and 2 cats, Saju and Ziva.

26. I feel sorry for elementary school teachers who can’t pronounce their own roll sheets.

27. I wanted to be a teacher when I was young

28. I used to teach my My Little Ponies.

29. My parents used to give me a My Little Pony for every holiday and birthday.

30. I could read before I started kindergarten.

31. I was a bookworm and I’m proud of that.

32. My favorite book is The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien.

33. I try to read it once a year.

34. I made a bargain with my roommate; she would read LOTR and I would read all of the Harry Potter books.

35. She beat me.

36. But in fairness, all of the HP books hadn’t come out yet.

37. I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in one day.

38. I can play the flute.

39. I used to spend my summers in Tacoma Youth Symphony’s summer camps.

40. I used to play in the Northwest Flute Collegiums.

41. I had to quit the NFC because it conflicted with my acting schedule.

42. I was allowed to rejoin the NFC on the condition that I would make a commitment to the Collegium.

43. I had to drop out again 3 weeks later because it conflicted with my Hobbit dress rehearsals.

44. I played Thorin Oakenshield.

45. My two best friends were Gandalf (Nathan!) and Bilbo (Ilia!).

46. I have a permanent scar over my right eye from a sword fight that went wrong in that show.

47. I have performed as a singing wench in the Tacoma Master Chorale’s Annual Madrigal Feast.

48. I had to wear a laced up bodice, a poofy blouse and long skirt.

49. I can still sing the Wassail Serving Song.

50. I will sing it for you if you give me enough Wassail.

51. I was too young to serve Wassail at the Feast, but I had to sing anyway.

52. I make Wassail every holiday season.

53. I celebrate every winter holiday. Because I can.

54. I have driven across the country twice.

55. I have visited 26 states.

56. I have a goal to visit all 50 states by the time I am 30.

57. I have stood on the banks of the Suwannee River.

58. I drank bourbon on Bourbon Street, New Orleans.

59. I almost ran out of gas in the Mojave Desert.

60. A nice family was having a picnic under an overpass and mouth-siphoned a gallon of gas out of their tank for me.

61. I have run barefoot through White Sands.

62. I ate a picnic lunch with a sleeping rattlesnake under the table.

63. I have searched for the Goonies house in Astoria, OR.

64. I have survived 3 hurricanes, Charley, Francis, and Jeanne.

65. I was still at work when Charley made landfall because they wouldn’t let us go home.

66. I broke a toe on the edge of my sofa during Charley.

67. We had no ice, there was no power. It hurt like hell.

68. I have broken nearly all of my toes at one point or another.

69. A boy broke my foot during my Senior Homecoming. He stepped on my foot while slow dancing.

70. My first kiss was at summer camp. His name was John.

71. My first “real” kiss was at the Supermall. His name was Brian.

72. My first dance was at a Mormon Temple with Johnny.

73. We danced to “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal.

74. My first serious relationship started my sophomore year in high school. His name was Mike.

75. He’s the only relationship I’ve ever thought would end in marriage.

76. I am not married and never have been.

77. I am addicted to the internet.

78. I work online for my job and cannot resist going online when I get home.

79. I hate internet speak. “ph33r mi sk1llz, PWNED! GR8 G2G w00t! ”

80. I automatically delete comments and emails written in L33T speak, or those that do not use capitalization or punctuation.

81. I also hate inboxer rebellions, emailed urban legends, and chain letters. I will take my chances on being murdered in my sleep for not passing on your letter. And no, Tom will not take away your myspace account for refusing to pass on his email.

82. I love coffee.  I love caffeine in general.

83. I am addicted to spiced chai with soy milk.

84. I collect complete coffee-punchcards in my wallet for a “rainy day”.

85.  I live in Seattle, where every day is a rainy day.

86. I do not respond to whistles or finger snaps, even used only to get my attention.

87. I am a rape survivor and active supporter of RAINN. (www.rainn.org)

88. I also support the MS Foundation because my mother has Multiple Sclerosis.

89. I have a degree in Sociology with an emphasis in Women’s Studies.

90. I want to go into Criminal Justice, specifically Investigations and Criminology.

91. It does not offend me to be called a bitch. I usually say thank you.

92. I have blue eyes. They really are this blue.

93. I am addicted to courtroom tv shows like The People’s Court.

94. I am literally the coldest person you know. I wear sweatshirts in the sun and sleep in a sub-zero sleeping bag while camping in the Northwest.

95. I grew up a Tomboy. I’m still not a girly-girl.

96. I have had the same roommate since 1999.

97. I am ridiculously insecure and stress constantly about what you think about me.

98. I will not let you see me cry, however.

99. I have only been in love twice.

100. I have never had a Valentine since we stopped passing them out to everyone in Elementary School.

Payday Mayday

Not me. But doesn't she look cheery?

 Ah, payday! At long last, you have arrived! Finally, I can stop watching my account like a hawk, and the tensions of 'man, I hope they don't pull that bill out of my account early, or it's going to BOOOOUUNNCE!' are gone...at least for another two weeks.

I never imagined that I'd be living paycheck to paycheck. I had a goal. A plan. I went to college under the illusion that having a degree would be my free ticket to a career, not just a job. Yeah, well. Life takes interesting turns, and here I am.

I'm not complaining, though. Hey, I HAVE a job and a steady paycheck. So what if every payday I run around like a madwoman, paying bills, and watching the newly-filled account rapidly shrink? Bills are paid. And when the bills are paid, it's time for a little bit of FUN!

Today's payday splurges:

1. Vegan on the Cheap, by Robin Robertson.
Yeah, yeah, I need a new vegan cookbook like I need a hole in my head. But just listen to this description from the back cover:

With the price of fresh vegetables, fruit, and meadtless and dairy foods on the rise, it's tougher than ever to eat great-tasting vegan meals without blowing your budget. In Vegan on the Cheap, Robin Robertson gives you a big bang for your buck with 150 exciting mouthwatering recipes - all for just .50 - $2 a serving.

I flipped through the book at the store and found such gems as to how to make your own 'mayonaise' (Hot damn! That's like $6 a jar! And I can make it for $1.65?!), a kick-ass guacamole using green peas (man, I love my avocados, but they're $1.50 each...), soups for all seasons, my own 'burger' (vegan bocas are about $5 a box here, and I can make more, cheaper with this recipe), crock pot dinners, oven bakes, EVEN DESSERTS. The author even breaks it all down to the cost of each recipe (on average) AND has a handy-dandy shopping list at the front of the book. I'm super excited to give this thing a whirl!

 

 2. Aloo Gobi.   

Going vegan has opened me up to an entire new world of delicious food! Did you know that it's super easy to get most Asian and Indian food in a healthy, vegan variation? People all over work have been telling me about this delicious Indian restaurant that is both kosher and vegetarian, and has vegan options on the menu. "Hey! It's payday!" says the roomie, "let's splurge!" So we pile into the car and make our way through the treacherous I-5 traffic and wind up having a super-delicious lunch spluge of delicious potatoes and cauliflower in a ginger sauce...sooooo delicious!

3. Red hair dye.

Because they don't call me Scarlett for nothing, and Mother Nature and I completely disagree on what my natural hair color should be. I'm definitely not a....y'know, I'm not entirely sure WHAT my natural hair color is anymore, I've been dyeing it so long. It's dark blond, I'm pretty sure....90%, anyway...In any case, I don't have the personality for BLAH hair. I change my hair color to something much more fun every couple of months. Currently, it's red. And about the red on the box, too. 

So, there you have it, my payday splurges! I know you have yours, too. What are they? What's your weakness, how do you treat yourself after a long couple of weeks of work?

This is how bad it gets -

I'm procrastinating so badly that I gave the site a makeover. What do you think?

Procrastination is the name of the game...

Today is my day off. Well, one of two days off. I know, weird, right? Mid-week weekend? Ah, schedulers. Oh well, I'm not going to complain! (until paycheck time gets here, but that's another story.)

This is the list of things that I really should get done today:

1. The dishes. They're stacking up, friends. I don't have that many to start with, and it's to the point where I'm washing just enough to make the next meal, but haven't made it through the rest of the sink yet. 
2. Laundry. I had to wade through a sea of fabric to crawl into bed. I think it's time. 
3. Vacuum. The curse of having two cats and a dog; fur is EVERYWHERE. Topping it off, I have cream-ish colored carpets...which swiftly become gray-ish with all of the animal fur that gets left behind. I could vacuum every day and STILL not keep caught up. 

This is the list of things that I will probably actually get done today:

1. Write a blog. Oh, hey, look! Check one off the list already!
2. Recipe hunt. Tomorrow is payday, which is also known as 'grocery shopping day'. Since going vegan, I've been a lot better about planning my shopping trips, but I have ALSO been collecting vegan recipes like a mad woman. There are just so many out there, and I lovelovelove to cook! This week, I learned how to make a kickass vegan white pizza. This weekend I am making vegan portobello ravioli from scratch.
3. Surf the internet for pointless tidbits of information. Come on, you know you do it, too. Who can resist reading about the restaurant in Arizona which will be serving lion tacos, the 4-pound chihuahua that was attacked by an owl (circle of life, people),  or the 100-year-old bottles of scotch that was found in the Antarctic (what does a girl have to do to get a glass of THAT?)
4. Continue my Grey's Anatomy marathon. Kitten, from Inside a Chaotic Mind and I are having a cross-country Netflix marathon of GA, because we LOVE the show, and it gives us a great excuse to do something together, even when we can't be in the same state. 

In short, I have the best intentions of getting the house clean and things in order. But, I'll probably wind up procrastinating the day away. Maybe I'll take a cue from Tame and have some W(h)ine Time later.

What's on YOUR agenda, and how will you procrastinate your way out of it?

Trenta? No, thank ya.

According to Starbucks and many news outlets, Starbucks has joined the hordes of companies 'SuperSizing' their offerings for an ever demanding market. Later this spring, they will be unveiling the Trenta size at all of their locations. That's right, one more impossible-to-order size, 30 ounces of your favorite drink available in a giant sized (though the picture above is an exaggeration) to-go cup.

Okay, I'm sort of speaking out of school, because I cut coffee out of my diet a couple months back. I haven't had a coffehouse coffee since my last Peppermint Chai in December (OMG YUMMMMMM...) But...really? Wasn't a Venti enough? Must we up the ante to a Trenta? A whole 10 ounces more?

According to the Starbucks Website, a 20oz Cafe Mocha with whipped cream is 410 calories. So, you figure that a 30oz Cafe Mocha is going to run you what, 615 calories? So, with one early morning pick-me-up, you mean to tell me that most people are going to consume 1/4 to 1/3 of their daily recommended calories? On caffeine and dairy, which have little to no nutritional value.

Really? I mean, hey, I'm a Seattlite. I love my coffee as much as...no. MORE than the next guy. It's fantastic. It's wonderful. It's a gift of a bean, that's what it is.

However...what does it say that we now need 615 calories IN A DRINK? Does anyone out there REALLY need 30 ounces of a coffehouse drink?  Is this another sign of America's obesity epidemic? Is this another sign of Super Sizing to dangerous proportions?

Well, that's ONE solution to the health care crisis...

Tired of hanging on to those love handles?

 Diet and exercise not doing the trick?

Your insurance doesn't cover weight loss surgery?

Well, worry no more, because I have a solution for YOU!

That's right, folks, from the site that brought you 'Jesus on a Quesadilla', and 'How to be a Pedophile' comes a new and altogether disturbing product, the Do It Yourself Gastric Bypass Kit! Now, for the low, low price of just $263.96, you, too, can have the body of your dreams!

Forget putting yourself into debt for years to come! Who needs those nasty doctors taking their cuts (pun intended) and paying off their BMWs? Cut out the middle man (again, pun intended), call your best friend, (you trust her with your life anyway), down a bottle of your favorite liquor and take care of your expensive operation in the privacy of your own home!

Order now, supplies are limited, and operators are standing by!

In case anyone thinks this image is photoshopped, you can view Amazon's cached display of this item here. They've since removed the sale of this item...whether or not it was before the seller got the contact information or payment from interested buyers? Who knows. I mean, hey. Women have botox and plastic surgery parties, is it really going too far to suggest that gastric bypass is far behind?

Since January 1st...

::whistles nonchalantly:: 



They weren't lying when they said that cutting out dairy would make the weight fall off like butter. (pun intended). Let you in on a secret...haven't worked out a LICK.

Longer post about something more relevant to come later. Just needed a brief moment of celebration!

Simply Irresistible?

Oh my goodness! After a particularly chaotic day at work, I arrived home in desperate need of a glass of wine and something delicious, and lo and behold, I find THIS gem for my blog, from The Tame One over at Thoughts of an Oxymoron! She thinks I'm sweet, honest, and real...which in my world, generally means I tend to put my foot in my mouth an awful lot. But, I'm especially honored because Tame is one of my favorite bloggers, as well as one of the most amazing chicks I know.The fact that she would drop this irresistibly tempting award on to me means more than I can say.

In order to accept the award, I need to confess five guilty pleasures of mine (what? I have to narrow the field to five? FIVE? Jeez...) Then, I select 3 Irresistibly Sweet bloggers to pass this delicious looking award on to (what? I have to narrow the field to three? THREE?). But....but I love so many of them...

 Guilty Pleasure #1 Chai Tea. Oh, my heck, nothing makes me melt into a puddle of happiness like a delicious cup of chai (soy milk, please, and sub agave nectar for the honey, thanks!). All of those delicious spices swirl around inside me like nectar of the gods and can both kick start my day and relieve all the nasty stresses of the morning.

Guilty Pleasure #2 E.R. No, not the actual emergency room; I've spent more than my fair share of time in those, and I hate them. I'm talking about the delicious goodness that is E.R., with the original cast including the ever-so-sexy George Clooney. I used to ADORE this show, and got re-hooked on it when I was in college. In the Off Campus Student Lounge, we'd watch the reruns on TV every morning as a group. I guess it's a nostalgia thing, but this show still makes my world stop. I can re-watch the dvds repeatedly, and there's still no better way to start my day.

Guilty Pleasure #3 Online Role-Playing games. I belong to several, and even admin a few of my own. There's nothing like slipping into someone else's life for a few hours, and even getting to flex my writing muscles a little. I play mainly in PbP games (play-by-post), which for the non-rpers out there, is sort of like a round table story writing group. We each take turns, one at a time, contributing a few hundred words from our character's perspective.

Guilty Pleasure #4 Writing/Journaling/Blogging. Surprise, surprise, right? You will never, ever find me without a box of colored pens and at least one journal. I write non-stop. Fiction, non-fiction, random dialogue...you name it. Words swirl in my head and they have to flood down to the page. I've been keeping a journal since I was about 7, though I don't have the early ones any longer. My first journal was a Ramona Quimby journal that somehow got thrown out when I moved to college. :-(

Guilty Pleasure #5 My canine, Vegas. I know, I know, gratuitous puppy post. But seriously, no matter what I'm doing, how busy I am, or how horrible my day is, cuddling with my 130lb pup ALWAYS seems like a good idea. He makes me grin like a kid with his wonderful dopey grin, and any adventure I take is always much more fun when he's trotting alongside me. In fact, I'll be honest...I much prefer his company to many humans that I know...

And now, the three amazingly irresistible bloggers I pass this award onto: (fanfare, please!)

Irresistible Blogger #1 Lele at We Three Kings! She really is one of the sweetest women you could ever meet. Her blog is an invitation into her life and her world; honest, hope-filled, heartbreaking at times, but inspirational and always a point of sunshine in my day.

Irresistible Blogger #2 Kyrstin at I Thought About That Once... Kyrstin is one of the talented writers that I've only met online, but I know if we ever met in person, we'd be the best of friends. She's smart, wickedly funny, and her blog always makes me go, "oh my gosh, me tooo!"

Irresistible Blogger #3 Kitten at Inside a Chaotic Mind. Kitten is the other half of my brain.We live halfway across the country from one another, but we're still two halves of the same heart. Her writing is unabashedly honest; she speaks the truth as she sees it, and it's refreshing.

Thanks so much for the award, Tame! I'm truly honored. And, thank you to all of the readers who stop by and visit my crazy, mixed-up world once in awhile. I'm amazed and inspired by all of your comments and love!

Classically Altered

Growing up, I was a bit of a reader. Okay, that’s most definitely an understatement. I read all the damn time. I had two books in my backpack (that had nothing to do with school), books stashed under the seats of my parent’s cars, books tucked behind the shampoo bottles in the bathtub and in the crack between my bed and the sideboard…I had books everywhere. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising; both of my parents are readers themselves. My dad was known on sight at the local used bookstore, and he sort of had revolving credit there. (Though, I still don’t understand why the rule of “No Reading at the Dinner Table” only applied to me, and not my dad…but anyway…)

I read the traditional kid-fare of my generation, (Baby-Sitters Club, Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew, Trixie Belden, Sweet Valley High, Christopher Pike, V.C. Andrews, One Last Wish…) but I also really, really loved the classics. The Adventures of Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, To Kill A Mockingbird, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, Treasure Island and The Witch of Blackbird Pond were some of my favorites. When I was a kid, I just liked the stories and the adventures they’d sweep me off on. Now that I’m grown (yet, still not grown-up), these books still hold a special place in my heart, and I find it amazing that the same books have been able to touch generations of kids in the same way.

Which is why, last night, I got what I found to be devastating news. The Adventures of Huck Finn is about to be re-released in a new edition. Only, this edition is going to be censored. The ‘n’ word will be replaced with the word ‘slave’, and ‘injun’ is going to be replaced as well.

Newsweek Article

MSNBC Article

The change is being heralded as an “update for the new generation”, as opposed to the more accurate “censorship”. The argument is thus, the book itself is getting banned from too many reading lists because of the language, so in order to keep our kids reading this classic, they’re changing it.

But here’s the thing; this novel is a period piece, set in a time when those words were not only used, they were accepted as a normal form of speech. No, discrimination, segregation, and racism are not glorious, shining examples of the American spirit, but hey, they’re a part of our history. We’re not only a nation of positive advances, we’ve had our slip-ups in history, too. We’re not perfect.

Why can’t we use this novel, and others like it, as teaching examples for points of history? No, I don’t want any kid to feel bad about themselves, or uncomfortable around their classmates for reading the ‘n’ word. But, on the other hand, isn’t that shock and offence absolutely necessary to remind us of where we’ve come and where we never want to go again? Can’t we use it as a way of opening dialogue, and maybe, just maybe, segueing into a discussion about equally offensive terms (retard, fag, etc) that are still considered acceptable?

Instead, it feels like this is one more attempt to sweep our bad side under the carpet, and protect our special snowflake children from reading anything that might offend their delicate sensibilities. I know one thing for sure; I’m purchasing one of the last uncensored editions this weekend and tucking it away. I want my children to read the REAL version of the classic, and let it spark a real conversation. And, if they want to read it at the dinner table, I would most definitely be okay with that.

A Cluttered Life

Ready? I’m going to admit something extremely personal and embarrassing.

My home is ridiculously cluttered. Like, embarrassingly so. Even when everything is organized and in its place, the house looks like a tornado hit. I hate inviting people over because I feel like I’m going to be judged for the state of my house, but I just can’t seem to get the clutter under control. I’ve tried, believe me. I’ve gone through with garbage bags and sorted things into two piles, one for donation and one for the trash…and you know what happens? Somehow, that box of donations never gets dropped off, and all that junk slowly is re-assimilated into my home.

It’s one of my goals for 2011 to do something about this. I would really enjoy having a home where I can feel clean, relaxed, and refreshed. Someplace calming and simple. And standing between me and my dream? It’s all this…this…STUFF. Stuff I really don’t need but can’t bear to part with, for some reason.

I stumbled across this article on CNN.com. Live Simply. It’s interesting, because I’ve had to do exactly what she suggests, not once, but TWICE in my life. Okay, okay, I didn’t move overseas, but I moved across the country and had to pay to ship everything I decided I needed to keep. Nothing makes you decide that you don’t REALLY need that old, glass vase from great-aunt Cicily like seeing the pricetag it’d cost to pack and ship. When you’re living out of a dufflebag for a month, you learn to think really hard about which clothes that you like and which are just taking up space in your closet.

So, here’s the article in a nutshell. Three simple tips to decluttering your life. You ready?

1.        It’s just stuff.

Okay. Fair enough. It really IS just stuff. If I throw out that collection of candleholders that have never, not once, held a candle, I’m probably not going to miss them. If I do, well, tough. There’s got to be others like it, and if I’m desperate enough to search the wilds of eBay for them…well, I’ll just be honest. I very rarely wander into eBay anymore. Not after the sci-fi action figure incident….don’t ask.

2.        Having less means that you can have more of value.

Less stuff cluttering up my place means that I’m going to appreciate what’s in there more. And, if I only have just enough clothes to get through a week or so, I’m probably going to wear what I have more often, and have fewer “oh my heck, I don’t remember even BUYING that!” moments.

3.        You can live on less.

Well, this is probably true. Matter of fact, I KNOW it is, as evidenced by the fact that I lived out of my car for a month, camping my way from one side of the country to the other. And, have you ever gone to a hotel room and felt that simple thrill of everything neat, tidy, and in it’s place, except for the few things that you need from your luggage? I can survive a week in a hotel room without all the junk at my house, and I don’t even really miss it when it’s not accessible. So, what makes me think I’ll need it when it IS accessible?

Everything she says in the article is true, and it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. And yet? My home still stands in a cluttered nightmare.

What is it about collecting things, gathering things, hanging on to the things that we no longer need? As the great Larry Fleinhardt would say, “Who is the person that belongs to all this STUFF?!”* And he has a point! I don’t OWN things! I’m OWNED by them!

And yet…I lack the energy and the motivation to actually go through and clear everything out. I’m a victim of my own doing. GAH! 

*Larry Fleinhardt. Numb3rs was a good show. You should have watched it.

Adventures in Veganism: Or, Why is there heroin in my cheese?

It’s been three days since I officially made the switch. Honestly, it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. I think I built it up in my mind to be this big thing, this “oh, I could NEVER do THAT!” sort of obstacle. In actuality, it’s a lot simpler than I thought. I think it helps that I’ve spent about 4 months preparing. I’ve been reading books, watching documentaries, and researching food options and recipes since then. I knew that, if I didn’t, stepping into this world was going to be like stepping into the eye of a tornado, and everything was going to be so overwhelming I’d lose all hope.

So, how do I feel? Well, I’m not going to lie. The first day and a half, I had a horrible headache. Probably due to a lack of caffeine and refined sugar, I’m guessing. High fructose corn syrup is in darn near everything! Also, did you know that dairy can actually be addictive? No, really. Completely addictive in the very literal sense. 

Mother Nature has a sense of humor, yes she does. Pretty much everyone can tell you that opiates come from poppy seeds (which is why, before you take a drug test, they ask if you’ve had a poppyseed muffin for breakfast. BUT! Did you also know that the enzyme that produces opiates is also found in COW LIVERS? That’s right. Traces of morphine passes from the cow’s liver into the blood stream, and also wind up in the casein, the protein that makes up the majority of every dairy product. In cheese, it’s especially concentrated, since the cheesemaking process takes out the water, lactose and whey, leaving behind casein. The dairy industry KNOWS this, too, and has even built it into their market strategy to “Trigger the Craving”. Ever just really NEEDED that Cheese Lover’s Stuffed Crust Pizza? Yup. That’s the addiction talking. Absolutely had to have that cheesy dipping sauce for your nachos? It’s your body’s response to the casein you’ve been ingesting. Crazy stuff, right? Here’s a few articles you might like on the subject:

What Is Casein?

Casein and Cheese More Addictive than Chocolate?

Why Are You Addicted to Cheese? 

I’m definitely on dairy detox mode, which explains why my fridge currently has 3 types of vegan cheese in it. I’m trying to trick my system. For the most part, it seems to be working, and I’m keeping my food cravings at bay. Or, at least filling them with an acceptable substitute.

Apart from the headaches, which are entirely gone today, I’ve felt great. I have a ton of energy, which is odd, because I’ve been cutting WAAAY back on the amount of caffeine I’ve been consuming. Soda’s a thing of the past, as are expensive coffee drinks from the coffee shop. Instead, I have one, small cup a day (as opposed to multiple thermoses full) , and I’m substituting agave nectar for the sugar. Also, weird thing, I’m not hungry. I have to remind myself to eat regularly. Maybe it’s because I’m eating real food, and not just junk and artificial fillers? I don’t know. But, it’s actually been pretty simple to maintain my lifestyle change because I’m not so desperately hungry that I’m willing to consume everything in my path. 

The big question on everyone’s mind is, what the hell do you EAT as a vegan? The answer is, surprisingly, anything I want. No, really. Anything. The world has changed a lot, especially in recent years. For every average food out there, someone has come up with an environmentally healthy substitute. I’ve found a vegan butter that I’m absolutely in love with, (Earth Balance), a cheese replacement that actually melts like real cheddar and tastes like it, too (Soy Sation), and an entire world of meat replacement products (Morningstar Farms, Boca Burgers) that cook up and taste (almost) like the real thing. Instead of ice cream and pizza rolls, my freezer is filled with vegetables and soy meats. Breakfast on-the-go is a multigrain cereal bar by Larabar or Barbara’s), my coffee is sweetened with Agave Nectar and mint chocolate soy milk. For moments that I’m too lazy to cook, I’ve even found an entire line of freezer meals by Kashi which are vegan, and delicious. Today, I’m having sweet potato, butternut squash and eggplant lasagna.  Last night I had cappelini pomodoro (pasta with tomato, basil, garlic, and olive oil, topped with a bit of soy cheese) Tomorrow, I’m making tacos. See? Definitely more than salad and celery sticks. 



PS - Admit it. You totally want cheese right now. See? Heroin.

View From a Hospital Room...

Every hospital has the same blankets. You know the ones I mean. Crisp, white, thin crochet. Too light to really keep you warm, but it keeps the chill of the air conditioning off the patients. My mother currently struggles to convince her hands to grip around the end and pull it over her shoulders. I let her try for a moment; she hates when everyone jumps to assist her, before reaching forward silently and pulling it up. She smiles a thank you at me, even as her hands continue to tremble under the cloth. I lean back in my chair and listen to the doctor speaking.

You can tell a lot about a doctor from the way he walks into the room. I’ve met enough of them to know, and I can tell from those first few steps whether or not I’m going to like him. Most breeze through the halls, barely acknowledging the patient with unexplained symptoms, muttering a few short phrases to the nurses, and signing off on a chart they only marginally glanced at. Doctors don’t like patients with multiple sclerosis, I’ve decided. Too many symptoms to make a clear diagnosis, and not a whole lot of healing that they can do. I think it shakes their faith in the ability of medicine to cure all ailments, so they finish with my mom as quickly as they can to get onto “real” patients.

Not this doctor though. This one is different. I’m going to like him.

He walked in and immediately made it a point to introduce himself to not only my mom, but to my dad and I, before he pulled up a chair and sat eye level with her at her bedside. He has her chart in front of him, and I can see he’s actually read it by the notes he’s circled on the page. When he talks, he actually speaks to my mom and waits for her answer, which is huge in and of itself. Every question requires a long pause afterwards as my mom thinks through the question and tries to convince her mouth to move and the words to connect in a response. Sometimes, the words she says don’t make sense; it’s a curse of the illness. One might substitute “cat” in place of “vitamin”, simply because the brain is misfiring. She knows exactly what she’s trying to say, but it just doesn’t come out right. Nonetheless, he patiently waits, instead of looking to someone else to translate so he can get out of the room faster.

I quietly shift in my chair as they talk, trying to absorb as much information as I can about this latest development. About 48 hours prior, my mom stopped eating. She refused water, and couldn’t swallow, which in turn meant that she couldn’t take her medication. She has to have medication to function – another curse of the disease is the debilitating pain which runs through the nerves connecting her brain to her face. When she wasn’t crying in pain, she was sleeping up to 16 hours a day, and not responding to anyone around her. I spoke to my dad around midnight on December 30^th, the worry in his voice was palpable. She was taken to the hospital first thing the following morning, and now here we were, waiting for diagnosis.

My mom laughs at something the doctor has said, and the sound cuts through the haze in my head. It occurs to me how rarely I’ve heard that sound, odd how it sounds so foreign to my ears. I smile, looking between her and the doctor. Yes, I knew I was going to like him.