St. Baldrick's Foundation

My Before 

I generally don't use my blog as a way of making money or begging from my friends. (Okay, you could make the case that I don't use my blog much anymore, and you'd be right...but I'm revamping things and you'll see big changes in a couple of weeks...more on that later!) 


However, this is a cause I really believe in, so I'm asking for your help. On July 9th, I'm going to shave my head...that's right, completely bald!..for a good cause; the St. Baldrick's Foundation. 


I've been fortunate to walk this Earth for more than 3 decades cancer-free, but that doesn't mean I've remained untouched by this horrible disease. Members of my family and several close friends have fought, and are still fighting the most important battles of their lives. This is in their honor. 

This year, I'm dedicating my birthday to making a difference. I'm having my head shaved to stand in solidarity with kids fighting cancer, but more importantly, to raise money to find cures. I may be a one-shavee show, but I'll be just as bald – and I hope you'll cheer me on with a donation! 

The St. Baldrick's Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity that funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U. S. government. Your gift will give hope to infants, children, teens and young adults fighting childhood cancers. So when I ask for your support, I'm really asking you to support these kids. Thank you! Click the link below to visit my official page at St. Baldricks, and to give online, or donate by phone or mail.

St. Baldrick's Foundation

Thawing Out

It's been a bit of a crazy week around here. If you've been watching the news, you've noticed that Washington State has been buried for about a week; first by snow, then by ice and falling trees.

Despite losing power and probably several trees once all the cleanup is done, we weathered the various storms pretty well. Life is starting to return to normal now, though many warehouses and schools are still closed due to a lack of electricity.

Having gone through 4 hurricanes (Charlie, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne), I'm no stranger to surviving without power. The days were spent knitting, playing board games, and listening to our battery operated radio. (Though the announcer kept pissing me off with his insistence that we 'go to the website' for more information on the storm. Um...no power, my friend.) 

Eating, on the other hand, was another story. I'm still eating VERY healthy, and do you now how hard that is to do when you can't heat anything up or cook at all? My life revolves around the idea that fresh, local (if possible), homemade food is the best, so quite literally, there are no snacky fast-foods available in this house. I'm happy to say that I made it work, though it was a heck of a challenge! (check the weightloss total at the top of the page!)

So now life moves on, thawing out and cleaning up. Though I love how beautiful it looked before it froze, I'm definitely ready to be done with snow for another year.

Release & Revive

I never talked about my New Year's Resolution. I mean, I posted that cute graphic about kicking ass this year, and it's true, that's on my list of things to do.

I could make a list of all the things I want to do; lose weight, pay off debt, de-clutter my house, get a promotion... but in the end, I'm probably not going to check very many of these things off my list, and then I'll be here, next January feeling utterly horrible about the things that I'd failed at. Instead, I've decided to assign myself a theme for the year, and strive to fulfill it every day, to the best of my ability. My theme for 2012 is going to be:

Release & Revive

re·lease 

tr.v. re·leased, re·leas·ing, re·leas·es

1. To set free from confinement, restraint, or bondage: released the prisoners.

2. To free from something that binds, fastens, or holds back; let go: released the balloons; released a flood of questions.

re·vive 

v. re·vived, re·viv·ing, re·vives

v.tr.

1. To bring back to life or consciousness; resuscitate.

2. To impart new health, vigor, or spirit to.

I will release those thing I keep holding onto that are holding me back.  I will release myself from expectations; both from myself and from other people. I will release that little voice in my head that constantly tells me that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, or thin enough to be valued by anyone. I will release the resentment, and the grudges I've been carrying for far too long. I will release myself from the idea I had from childhood, the one everyone has about where they will be and what they will be doing at 30+, and I will allow myself to be content with where I am. 


I will revive my health, both mentally, physically, and spiritually. I will revive the passion for life that I once had. I will revive the things that I've let slip because they didn't fit the 'plan' for my life. I will revive my ability to love and be loved. I will revive my appreciation for the wonder of the world all around me, and I will revive my hopeful (yet cautious) optimism of the future to come. 


Every day I will struggle, but every day I will remind myself of my goals, and hopefully, I'll take one step further down the road to a more peaceful, healthier, happier, fulfilled self. 

Surviving. That's a start.

Interesting that my last post was about willpower, because the last two days have been nothing BUT a test of my willpower. Yesterday, I cooked my chicken and mushroom enchiladas for my parents, one of my favorite meals, but couldn't take a single bite. Being around the amazing smell of melting cheese and green chilis was absolute torture as I munched on my celery sticks with Tofutti cream cheese. Last night, The Roommate and I shared a kitchen as we cooked for the coming days; she made a batch of peppermint chocolate fudge, and I made a batch of Green Gazpacho.

Yummy AND Healthy = WIN!

Both situations were tempting as hell, but you know what? I SURVIVED, and that's a start. I stuck to it. I made good food choices, took all my medication on time (super challenge there), and I drank a ton of water. Oh, and on the water topic, I found something that helps me a LOT.

I know how horrible it is, but I'm bad at just drinking water. I always try to jazz it up by adding those little drink-mix packets and convince myself that I'm drinking something fruity. But, suddenly the packets are pretty much off-limits, since they contain both sugar and calories, (and the fake-sugar ones give me a headache). All the books say that when you think you're hungry, you might really be thirsty because your brain has a hard time telling the difference. And water is super important for flushing out all those bad toxins, too.

So, I don't generally plug things on this blog. It bugs me when I read a friend's entry only to realize that I've been duped into reading an advertisement, so I don't do it here. (For the record, if I ever plug a product intentionally for a benefit, I'm going to mark the entry so y'all know, today is not that day, this is just me talking.)

But occasionally I find something really cool that I enjoy, and I want to talk about it. Such is the current case. The Roomate and I decided that this year, instead of getting eachother Christmas gifts, we'd just pitch in to buy one thing that we wanted to share; something for the house. We decided, after using one at a friend's house, that we wanted to get a SodaStream.

Not mine. Pic from SodaStream.

You've seen the adverts, I'm sure. It's pretty basic; buy the unit and a canister of C02, and you can carbonate your own tap water into something fizzy. There's a whole line of soda and water flavors you can buy, too. Far fewer calories and much lower cost than the store-bought stuff, and pretty tasty to boot.

Usually though, I just carbonate a bottle of water and add a splash of lemon or lime juice. It's cold, fizzy, and delicious, and it gets me drinking MUCH more water in a day than I otherwise would. It also feels a bit sinful, like I'm having a soda, when in actuality, it's healthy. (Shhh...don't tell my soda cravings that it's fake!)

I can usually drink 2 or 3 liters a day, which believe me is FAR more than I usually do. I can tell a huge difference, when I drink enough water, too. My head feels clearer and I have more energy. Plus, there's the added bonus of not feeling hungry! It's definitely helping as I fight off the temptations of much unhealthier drinks around me.

Welcome to 2012

Fighting Temptations

I have the willpower of a gnat.

(Well, now that I've said that, I really have no idea how much willpower a gnat has, and it could possibly be offensive to this poor, defenseless creature who might, very possibly, have more willpower than I do. For the sake of literary license, let's just assume that a gnat has no willpower at all, okay?)

I can have all of the best intentions, I can be dedicated and motivated... but damnit, if I'm hungry and food's in the house, I'm going to eat it, regardless of whether it's healthy and on my diet plan.

This is especially true after a long day of work when the last thing I want to do is cook a decent meal when it would be much simpler to just grab the Off-Brand-Eggo in the freezer and throw it in the toaster.

So, to save me from myself, what I really need to do is a cupboard cleanout. If I shouldn't be eating it, it shouldn't be in the house. But, this gets especially complicated since I don't live alone - I have a roommate who is sure to protest her good snacks disappearing.

I hear similar stories when talking to my friends who are trying to get healthy. Unfortunately, we don't live in bubbles, and our eating habits are greatly influenced by the roommate, spouse, children, and friends who aren't on the same path we are. Suddenly, there are two meals to cook, (and didn't I just say that I barely have enough time to cook one?), two shopping lists to fulfill, and cupboards and fridges  full of the not-so-healthy food that everyone else enjoys.

Not to mention how much of our social lives revolve around food. We join our friends for lunch, for coffee, for beer, etc. What's the most popular dating activity? Dinner and a movie. Temptation for the bad stuff is absolutely everywhere, and no one wants to be the girl in the corner of the room with a plate of veggies while everyone else is downing the cookies and eggnog.

What are some strategies that have worked for you when faced with temptation all around?

Under Pressure

I'm most definitely in the realm of procrastinators.

In my defense, I usually do my best work when I'm under the pressure of a deadline. I was the girl you hated in college because I could stay up all night for a 8am deadline on a 20 page paper, write the whole thing under the influence of peppermint patties and yerba mate, and get an A. If I took weeks to do the same thing (as I had to do for classes which required multiple drafts), I'd get a B or worse.

I've had plenty of reinforcement to support my positive procrastination. It's worked for me, so why change?

Only this time...the deadline is a little more critical than most.

I had a nagging toothache for the past couple of weeks. I did what most of us would do (I think), I started brushing with Sensodyne and rinsing with Listerine, hoping the mild annoyance would go away before it escalated to needing a dreaded dentist visit. It didn't. In fact, it got increasingly worse until it reached the point where I was literally shrieking and shaking in pain, unable to move or think. I took, and I'm not proud of this, so please hold the lecture, 6 ibuprofen, 2 acetominophen, 1 Vicodin, and 4 shots of vodka in an attempt to numb the pain. It didn't even TOUCH it. Nothing helped.

After turning every bag of vegetables in my freezer into a makeshift icepack (don't laugh, it works), I resigned myself to going to the emergency dentist. They agreed that yes, there's a problem, and I need a root canal, but my blood pressure was so high that they couldn't. They advised that I go to a doctor right away and find out what was going on.

Suddenly, I'm sitting in a doctors office getting an EKG, and having so many needles stuck in my arm and wrist that I now have the bruising of an IV drug user. The doctor is suddenly talking about concerns about my liver and kidney function, heart arrhythmia, blood pressure, stroke risk, coronary disease risks, and describing how the next few months are going to be spent figuring out which combination of medication is going to work for me.

If my heart wasn't missing beats when I went into the office, it sure was after those words starting falling from the doctor's lips.

Look, I think I've been upfront in my blog that I'm not the picture of health, but it's something that I've been working on actively. But I never considered myself to be sick enough that I'm not allowed to have a routine dental procedure because I could have a heart attack or stroke in the chair. I'm not morbidly obese, but I'm overweight. I eat my share of junk food, but I also get healthy choices in there every day, and while I can't sprint a marathon, I can do a 5k without issues.

My point is, it never occurred to me that my health was bad enough that the doctor was surprised to hear that I'd been surviving  without medication. Turns out, it was.

So this is where I am. I have to get healthy, and the deadline is now. (Actually, it was a couple of years ago, but let's not belabor the point.)

It's not so that I can drop a few sizes and fit into the cute jeans hanging in the back of the closet.

It's so that I can live.

Now THERE'S a deadline with a built-in consequence for failure.